My 2017 Top Five list

What a year it has been!  For me 2017 has been a year of stretching and breaking, rebirth and healing.  It has been simultaneously excruciating and exhilarating.

I am grateful I began the year with a deep desire and readiness to dive headfirst into inner work.  I loosened my grip on life.  My plans, my business, my marriage, my ideas of what’s supposed to be.  All of it I released unto God/the Universe/Mother Earth.  I surrendered the idea that I knew what was best because I clearly didn’t.  This time last year, I was suffering the deepest depression in my life and I had no idea how I got there, or what to do next.  I had no real explanation other than feeling that something was just broken.

From that space of feeling desperate and broken, alone with my thoughts, I prayed and meditated and I called in help.  By January of this year I had coaches and teachers and guides coming into my life in the most unexpected ways.  With their support, I faced my biggest fears, I walked the edges of my darkest shadows and braved terrain I never thought I would ever traverse.

My most notable highlights and lowlights:  I conquered my fear of public speaking.  Four people in my life moved on from this earthly plane in the span of one month (I am including one of my cats as a person here, and yes that month was a doozy).  Through rage and fiery anger that moved through my body, I discovered that I was carrying around a belief that I am not worthy, and I did work to destroy that belief.  As I began changing as a leader, there was a mass exodus within my company.  I have gained some incredible new sisterships that are crushing old paradigm ideas about what a gal pal relationship looks like.  I learned how to truly love myself.  I learned how to truly release beliefs and ways of being that were no longer serving me.  I learned how to truly receive love. I have new relationships with old friends and family that are authentic and look much different than they used to.

Today I am completely transformed.  The storms and turmoil presented to me through out this year were Divinely and precisely orchestrated for me.  And you better believe I have a lot to share from my travels to the inner depths and outer limits.

Distilling it down to just five is not going to be easy, but the number feels good and bite size.

In no particular order, here are my TOP 5 Gifts of 2017:

  1. BOUNDARIES SET YOU FREE – As a recovering people-pleaser, this was probably one of the hardest lessons to learn.  The idea of saying “no” brought up so many fears.  Fears of being thought of as selfish.  Fears of being looked upon as a bad daughter, friend, wife, boss, _________. What I realized, though, is that whenever I show up to do something out of obligation rather than choice, I show up in a light that is not my best self.  I show up tired.  I may feel resentful.  I am most likely not fully present, thinking about what I would rather be doing or when is the appropriate time to make my exit.  I may be feeling judgmental.  I may carry around baggage from agreeing to something out of obligation long after the situation takes place.  By saying yes to something I am actually a no to, I am causing suffering for myself and those in my wake.
  2. YOU CAN ONLY SEE WHAT YOU BELIEVE – We are all walking around with our very own filters.  What we perceive is dictated by these filters, and no matter what is actually in front of us, our view is unique to us.  Two people can be looking at the very same person and see two completely different versions of that person.  Through inner work I have discovered that my experience of people, situations, and life in general has drastically changed because I’ve changed my filters.  It’s like having a new set of eyes.
  3. ENERGY RULES EVERYTHING and you are responsible for the energy you put out and allow into your space.  Do more of what raises your energy positively, say no to the things that drain you and cause you to have negative energy.  When you are vibrating at your highest frequency, that is when you are your most magnetic and potent.  That’s when things seem to fall into place effortlessly.  It’s when people love being in your company. Why would you choose to spend any amount of time at a lower frequency?
  4. SISTERHOOD MAKES ANYTHING POSSIBLE – We were never meant to go this life alone.  Through generations and centuries of patriarchy and the deterioration of trust amongst women, we’ve learned to be independent. This culture of comparing, competitiveness, rejection, and judgement has led to isolation and unnecessary suffering.  When we choose to break down the walls and be vulnerable with our fellow sisters, lift one another up, support each others dreams, intentionally hold space for one another to be authentic, and opt out of negative drama amongst ourselves, we can achieve EVERYTHING we believe in.
  5. YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST – Until this year, I never knew just how much I believed that who I was in the past and the decisions I chose along the way made up who I am today.  That is 100% false.  Every experience holds within it a lesson, not a life sentence!  But for most of us, many of those lessons turn into burdens or regrets or false beliefs about ourselves.  I found that I was carrying around all kinds of baggage and making choices for myself with that clutter in the way.  Luckily through inner work and with the help of my amazing coaches, I learned how to release it.  I learned to let go and literally shed the old ways from my being.  And now I make decisions from a grounded place of knowing who I actually am.

So that’s my list.   I would love to know what landed for you.  Please post in the comments below.

Fill Thy Cup With Delight

We all logically know that one cannot give from an empty cup.  BUT women in today’s world are all wired to give, and give, and give and no one taught us how to fill that cup up.  The world needs you to be at your fullest, most vibrant and unique amazing self.  You have likely done some incredible stuff with your life thus far, all from an empty or half-filled cup.  Imagine what you can do with an overflowing cup!

The more you fill your cup through self-care, self-nurturing, and self-parenting, the  more you will be able to give to others and live out your true purpose.  And, when you fill your cup with delights and excites, you will find exponential abundance from which to give and contribute to others and to the world.   This is a radical and rebellious and liberating truth that you can choose for yourself.  The sooner the better!!!!  You have no idea how much more your life can be until you prioritize YOU first.

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably like, “okay, I understand, but how the heck do I do it?  I don’t even know where to begin.”  Great!  Here are some easy steps to take right now to get you on your way.

  1. Get a journal or a notepad, and not just a boring or efficient one.  Go out and spend good money on one that is absolutely gorgeous and delightful to your senses.  You are investing in your own worth by taking this step.  Bonus: grab some fun pens in your favorite colors and styles.
  2. Carve out at least twenty minutes, 5 times per week to write in your journal with zero distractions.  Ask your partner, your children, your room-mates or anyone else in your household to honor your space and request that they leave you alone during this time.  Create a ritual around your journal time.  Light some delicious candles.  Make yourself some yummy tea.  Put on some soothing music.  If you are able to, get yourself in nature.  Take three to five deep breaths to ground yourself and get present.  In this journal write out all of your wants and desires.  Write out your frustrations and blockages.  Write out your fears.  Just brain dump everything and anything that comes to your mind.
  3. Set some boundaries in areas you find yourself often frustrated.  Do you feel overwhelmed with social media at times?  Unfollow people that are negative and give yourself permission to opt out of negative or needy conversations.  Decide on a social media cut-off time at night, say 8pm.  Also give yourself a social media-free morning.
  4. Do at least one or more of the following self-care acts 3 times per week: take a walk in nature, take a luxurious bath, read a chapter from a juicy book, get a massage, get a facial, treat yourself to a delightful meal out alone or with a girlfriend, partake in an activity that is life-giving to you such as surfing, dancing, yoga, hiking.
  5. Say yes to the things you absolutely are a yes to.  Have the dessert.  Buy the dress.  Take the trip.  Life is happening right now, and who knows if tomorrow will come.  You deserve to say yes.  You were not born to be a slave to obligation and worry.

Life is a dance.  These steps laid out here are just examples to get you on your way.  The key is to be open to the ebbs and flows of life and to know that there is no right or wrong way.  Find what delights you and prioritize to have more of it in your life.  If you do this, your life will begin to look and feel different.